


With You, Always

by bonotje



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Biphobia, Coming Out, Forced coming out, Homophobia, M/M, Press Conference, mostly focusses on Max but there is Daniel/Max as well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 20:07:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15299061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonotje/pseuds/bonotje
Summary: “Who is your boyfriend Max?” A reporter from The Sun asks, because of course it's The Sun. He knew the question would come, of course he knew, he had just hoped they would ask him some questions about racing as well.Or, A video gets released online and a press conference that changes everything.





	With You, Always

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [陪着你，永远](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15651612) by [tiffamalfoy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiffamalfoy/pseuds/tiffamalfoy)



> I'm not sure what to think about this fic, I still don't know if I'm 100% happy with it after rewriting it a bunch of times in different ways but I had to stop changing things. It's written in quite a non-linear way, so I hope it's not too confusing. The stuff in italics is from the past basically. 
> 
> It mostly focusses on Max and his journey, but there's little snippets of Daniel/Max as well :)
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one.

“Who is your boyfriend Max?” A reporter from The Sun asks, because of course it's The Sun. He knew the question would come, of course he knew, he had just hoped they would ask him some questions about racing as well. But to be honest he knew he was only there to answer questions about the video clip that had shown up a day after the last race. He’d been radio silent for nearly 2 weeks now and he knew they wouldn’t be asking him questions about the race in Monza. He had been in no-man’s-land from the first lap on after all, the power track not something that Red Bull could put in a fight for. Especially after Daniel had become the latest victim of a first lap crash.

He knew the questions would come as soon as he saw the video online. The footage had been grainy and the audio had been spiked up so you could hear them, but you could still clearly make out the silhouettes of him and his dad as he had yelled at him.

 

_“So I’m having my career dad, and I’m having my boyfriend, but I’m not having you anymore! Not at my races or in my life. No one wants you here anymore and I hope to god they drop you from the talent team as well, because no young boy or girl should ever have to go through what I have been through with you!”_

He should’ve known someone would hear, should’ve known that not everyone was as courteous as the few crew members still milling about around the motor homes. No when someone heard Max and Jos Verstappen arguing they had grabbed their phone and recorded it, not thinking about the fact that they were about to out someone.

He gets pulled back to the room as he feels the soft pressure of Daniel’s hand squeezing at his knee underneath the press table, the interviewer still waiting for an answer.

“Uhm, at the moment he, uh, he isn’t comfortable coming out yet, so I will be keeping that to myself,” Max says, the answer he had rehearsed with his manager falling from his lips clumsily. He did his best not to look to his left, where said boyfriend was sitting. He respected Daniel’s decision not to come out, but it didn’t make any of this any easier. At the end of the day he hadn’t really had a choice, after the video had surfaced that Monday morning he knew his biggest secret was out to the world. He knew it was mostly his own fault, for screaming it in his father’s face in a place where people could overhear, but his emotions had gotten the better of him.

Murmurs went up throughout the room as the reporters processed his answer. Had they really been expecting him to just give them a name? He heard the press coordinator ask for the next question as the room had quieted down again.

“Question for Max,” the next reporter said. And he tried to kid himself that this man from Sky news would actually be asking him about the upcoming race, but of course he didn’t. “So Max, I can’t help but notice your father isn’t with you this weekend, why is that?”

And what a stupid question was that, of course his dad wasn’t with him this weekend had he not seen the video? No of course he had, he just needed a legitimate answer amongst all the speculation. God he hated all of this.

“My father found out some things last week… about me that he couldn’t deal with, so he’s not here and he won’t be coming with me to my races anymore.”

“He couldn’t deal with you being gay?” The reporter continued.   

“First of all, I’m bisexual not gay, but yes that is why we’ve separated our ways,” he breathed out. It had only been the second time he had said those words and the reaction after the first time he had said them had been less than positive.  

 

_“Dad! I can explain okay,” he said twisting away from where Daniel was still gripping at his waist._

They had been so careful, making sure the door was locked every time, or so they thought. Apparently the lock on the door to his driver’s room had been broken and they had been too busy to notice that the lock hadn’t clicked into place like it should have. Daniel had been leaning back against the desk in the corner of the room as Max peppered kisses down his neck, Dan’s grip tight on his waist as Max worked over sensitive skin. And his father hadn’t bothered to knock on his door before he had barged into the room.

That grip on his waist had tightened painfully when all of a sudden Jos had been in the room, mouth agape as he took in the image in front of him. As soon as his brain had managed to process what his eyes were seeing he had turned around and stormed out of the room. 

_“Dad!” he called out again as he ran out of the room. “Dad, please!”_

_His father turned around at the end of the corner, face red with anger. “What Max, what’s there to explain?! You want to explain to me why you’ve decided to throw away your career for some big gay experiment, with your teammate of all people?!” He sneered._

_“This isn’t an experiment dad. I know who I am, Dad. I’m bisexual and I’ve known for a long time. And, and I love Daniel okay, so please can you, can you just calm down?”_

His dad had scoffed at him, laughed at him as he accused him of not even being able to pick a side. He’d known his dad wouldn’t react well to the truth, he hadn’t been burying this part of himself for so many years if he had expected anything else. No he had seen his father’s disgusted looks at the TV as they had shown the first gay couple getting married in The Netherlands back in 2001, when he hadn’t even been 4 yet. He hadn’t understood then, but he had when he had been 11 and his father had drunkenly told his friend to stop letting his son listen to Mika because it would turn him gay. How he had drunkenly spewed out that at least his son was a real man, already winning races.

It hadn’t been until he was 14 when he had started to notice boys like he had been noticing girls, but he had always remembered his dad’s drunken rant. So when he had been 14 and his eyes had wandered over to where his best mate’s brother had been working on a kart, his eyes following the way his muscles had worked underneath his tight t-shirt, he knew had to bury those feelings down, down very deep.    

However much he had tried to bury those feelings down though he had still ended up kissing a boy in a smelly locker room just a few months later. They had both crashed out of the karting race and the excess adrenaline still coursing through their veins had needed its way out. And apparently their 15 year old bodies had decided that shoving each other up against the nearest wall and kissing each other was the way to do that. His fingers twisted into the boy’s race shirt as their lips met in a messy kiss with too much teeth, as both of them tried to fight for dominance.

It had been messy, but it had dealt with all that pent up energy. Until a door closing loudly somewhere further down in the building had pulled them back to reality. It had been different from kissing a girl. It had been a more aggressive kiss than any of his kisses with girls had been, with the beginning of facial hair on the other boy’s face rubbing at the skin around his lips, but he had still liked it a lot. Even so, by the time the next race had come around he had shoved those feelings back down inside of him and had steadfastly ignored the other boy.

Those feelings had come bubbling up every now and then over the years. Whenever an especially handsome guy had walked by. When his girlfriend at the time had introduced him to her brother and he embarrassingly hadn’t been able to stop looking at him instead of his girlfriend, laughing at his jokes instead of hers. Or when he’d occasionally clicked on the gay porn section of a porn site on one of his late night internet browses. But for the most part they had stayed locked away in that little hidey hole of his whilst he had been too focussed on racing.

His racing career that had started to take off. He’d been winning F3 races and getting the attention of none other than Helmut Marko, too busy to think about dating anyone, boy or girl. 

That was, until he met Daniel Ricciardo. His new teammate with the ever present smile on his face. Adrenaline was coursing through his veins as he was driving his first race for Red Bull, as he was winning his first race. Everyone’s eyes on him all of a sudden as he had just become the youngest driver to have won an Formula 1 race, the only ever Dutch driver to have won one. But all he had wanted were his eyes on him, Daniel’s eyes twinkling at him as he pulled him in a big hug.

He had tried, he had tried so very hard to shove the feelings back down again and at first it had worked. The feelings locked down back where they couldn’t escape again. It had been easy. His life had just changed massively, with his win came even more media attention than before and he just enjoyed the rollercoaster that his life had become. He also didn’t have to do many social media things for Red Bull yet as most of it had already been filmed at the start of the season when Daniil had still been at the team. That changed the next season though.

There had been the ‘On The Sofa’ interview to review the 2016 season and he had already started to struggle to fight those feelings back in their place. Half an hour spent with Daniel, getting to know the other man better than half a season of being teammates had done. He had been enthralled as he had listened to the other man explain how he thought about racing, what he thought about Max.

Than the 2017 season had happened. Him and Daniel had spent so much time together, filming videos for the social media team. Getting to hang out with Daniel had helped him take his mind of the rubbish start of his season. Dan’s laugh as they were asked to do yet another ridiculous thing as infectious as always. It had made those feelings start to bubble up again, until they had finally erupted like some kind of volcano.

He’d been asking for a sugary drink as he tried not to collapse after the Malaysian Grand Prix. And when Daniel had handed it to him with a worried look on his face he’d had to fight the urge to collapse into the other man’s arms. His emotions warring with the pure exhaustion after winning his second race.

 

_“Congrats again mate,” Daniel grinned at him as they stepped back into the energy station, heading to their driver’s rooms and for some reason Daniel followed him into his room instead of going to his own room._

_“Thanks,” Max smiled back tiredly, the adrenaline of winning the race was starting to drain from his body and the slightly nauseous feeling he’d had the whole weekend was coming back. “So exhausted after that one though.”_

_“Yeah, you still feeling sick then?” A frown formed on the Aussie’s face as he took in his teammate, wanting to give the guy a hug as he saw all the energy drained from him._

_“Yeah, I honestly can’t believe how I didn’t throw up in my helmet just then,” Max tries to joke, but it falls flat as he just sounds tired._

_“I’ll get out of your hair, give you a chance to take a nap or something,” Daniel says as he stands up, Max following him to the door. The other man hesitated as they stood in the doorway to Max’s room. His eyes flicked over the younger man’s face, a slightly sad look that shouldn’t be there after he had just won a race made him decide to just go for it. “Come here,” Dan says before pulling him into a bear hug._

_“Wha-?” Max questioned, but let himself relax into Daniel’s embrace. It felt good to have those arms wrapped around him, the warm skin of them sticking to his own clammy neck._

_“You looked like you needed a hug,” Daniel explains before he heads for the door to the left to go to his own room._

_Max hesitates for a second, the exhaustion making it harder for him to fight the feelings trying to break free. “Daniel?” he calls out before the other man can close the door to his room._

_“Yeah?”_

_“Can I have another one of those?”_

_“A hug?”_

_Max just nods, his body slumping back against the doorframe._

_“Yeah sure.”_

_He steps away from the door slightly to let Daniel wrap his arms around him again. He sinks into the embrace once more and just holds on. Tears forming at the corners of his eyes as he just gives in to the exhaustion and the feelings he’s been trying to hide for so long, those feelings swooping in his belly. Daniel shuffles them backwards a little so he can close the door behind them, slowly walking them towards the makeshift sofa against the wall without letting go of Max._

_They sit down and Daniel immediately pulls Max against his side, wiping away the stray tears and allowing him to rest his head against his chest. They sit like that for what feels like hours, but are probably just minutes. He presses his face against Daniel’s chest, breathes in the tangy smell of sweat mixed with champagne, the ever present smell of petrol and underneath it all just the smell of Daniel._

_After allowing himself another few minutes wrapped up in Daniel’s embrace he pulls back slowly, something like embarrassment settling in his stomach as he realises how clingy he is being. “Sorry,” he mumbles._

_“Hey, it’s okay. You feeling a bit better now?” Daniel asks, nothing but affection written on his face as he takes in his teammate._

_Max just nods, can’t take his eyes away from him. And before he can stop his body from moving he’s leaning forward, closing the slight gap still between them as he presses his lips against Dan’s. For a second nothing happens, Daniel not reacting to it, but then he feels those soft lips press back against his own. But as soon as he feels it they’re gone again as Daniel pulls back abruptly._

_“Woah.”_

_“Shit, I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me,” Max hurries as he tries to pull away from where Daniel’s arm is still wrapped around him, but the other man won’t let him, keeps a firm grip around his shoulders._

_“Hey, no, it’s okay. Just a surprise is all,” Daniel smiles at him, before he leans back in for another kiss._

 

Waking up the day after that first kiss he’d worried that it had all just been a fever dream, but as he’d arrived at breakfast Daniel had sent him a secret smile – a smile that would become just for him- and he’d known it had been real.

A week later In Japan he’d been feeling a lot better and while he knew it was just him getting over his flu he had also felt like the beginning of this thing with Daniel had helped. Not having to fight those feelings swirling inside him, trying to break free. They’d shared celebratory kisses after their shared podium, but it hadn’t been until Mexico when things had become official.

 

_Max arrived back at the hotel much later than Daniel had, the Australian driver getting his press duties out of the way quickly so he could sulk off back to his hotel room in peace after his motor had broken down once again. He’d watched the race on the tiny TV mounted against the wall and seen Max win, leaving Valtteri almost 20 seconds behind him. Seeing Max win had helped him get over the fact that he hadn’t been able to finish the race. So when he heard the soft knock on the door much later, he knew it would be Max, finally done with his own press duties._

_“Shouldn’t you be out celebrating?” he asks as he opens the door to indeed find Max standing on the other side._

_“Wanted to be with you,” Max shrugs, stepping into the room._

_“You’re amazing you know that,” Daniel grins at him as he wraps him up in his arms, before pressing a long kiss against Max’s lips._

_“Thanks,” Max murmured against his lips, not wanting to stop kissing just yet_

_._

_Later, as they’re lying in Daniel’s soft hotel bed wrapped up in each other, Max can’t help but spill it out. “I want this to be for real you know. I want us to be for real.”_

_“You asking me to be your boyfriend?”_

_Max nods, a hopeful smile tugging at his lips. And before he knows it Daniel’s lips are back on his, pressing short kisses against them before he starts peppering them all over his face until Max is giggling._

_“Of course I want to be your boyfriend.”_

He’s pulled back to the conference room as after a few questions for the other drivers they’ve come back to him. He wonders if maybe he will get some questions about his expectations for the race in Singapore, the track usually a good one for the Red Bulls after all.

“Max, how has the team reacted to video and finding out about your sexuality?”

He sighs, of course it’s still about the video. He thinks back to when his manager had told him his scheduled trip to Milton Keynes had been pushed forward to Tuesday and emergency meeting planned.

 

_“Max, let me just start by saying how sorry I am that this is the way this had to happen. I’m sure it can’t have been easy seeing that video with your secret going around online like rapid fire. But let me assure you that your career is safe here, it’s your ability as a driver that is important to us and so long as you continue to drive great races that’s all we care about, not who want to date,” Christian says with a reassuring smile._

_And Max breathes out a breath that he feels like he had been holding ever since his manager had called him the night before. He’d hoped of course, that this would be the reaction from the team, hadn’t wanted to doubt the always so progressive team that was Red Bull Racing. But this was still Formula One, a sport with a certain image and a sport that was still very old fashioned in certain things, he couldn’t help but worry. Hearing Christian confirm that he didn’t need to worry about his career, something his dad had kept going on and on about, was a relieve._

_“I just need to ask you one thing.” And Max feels himself tense, what would they need to know. They knew he had a boyfriend, so what? “Is it important for us to know who it is you are dating?”_

_Why would it be important for them to know who his boyfriend was? It didn’t make any difference for the team, not unless they already had an inkling of who it was. Not unless they already knew it was Daniel and that they now had to figure out how to handle having two teammates who were in a relationship. How though? They had always been so careful, but then the lock to his drivers room had been broken, maybe someone else had seen something. Maybe they had just noticed the subtle differences in the way him and Daniel had started to act around each other since Mexico. They were such a close knit team after all, spending more time with each other than their families during the season._

_Should he tell the team? He didn’t just want to out Daniel. His boyfriend who had called him last night, so worried for him. His boyfriend who after a long conversation had confessed that he didn’t want Max to tell people who his boyfriend was, not yet at least. His boyfriend who had said he needed time, just a little more time._

_“Right now I don’t think it is, he doesn’t want anyone to know. But I think you already know who it might be, so I’ll ask him again later, see if he’s okay with telling just you guys.” He decides that this is probably the best way to deal with it. He’ll tell Daniel how the team had reacted, assure him that he didn’t need to worry about his career. Ask him how he’d feel about telling the team. Tell him about how it might help to have them fighting their corner._

_“Okay thank you Max. For now we are not planning to make any statements just yet, we’ll let your manager decide how you want to go forward with this and we’ll publish a statement with our support as soon as you have made yours,” Christian concludes the meeting._  

 

“The team has been great, they of course wished it had happened in a different way just like I do, but in the end the most important thing to them is me winning races and scoring points for them and I don’t plan on stopping that.”

“We’ve got time for just one more question. Yes the lady in the pink shirt, please state your name and publication.”

“Sylvia Clark for Attitude Magazine.” And Max tries not to cringe at hearing the name of the magazine, he knows the magazine of course, had seen them pop up in the mix of all the releases after the video had come out. And he should have expected there to be new people from different publications wanting to get their soundbite. He just thought maybe they’d have send his team a request for an interview instead.

“Hi Max, I was just wondering how you are feeling after getting outed like that? And do you think you would have come out on your own terms whilst you were still racing or do think you’d have kept it a secret during your career?”

“Well uh, this of course wasn’t the way I had wanted to come out, but what’s done is done. I can’t change anything about it anymore and right now I’m just happy being who I am and I have a great support system around me. For your other question. I do think I would have eventually come out on my own terms. Keeping this secret for close to a year now hasn’t been easy and I don’t think I would’ve have wanted to keeping hiding this part of myself for the rest of my career. But I would have waited for both me and my boyfriend to be comfortable with it, which could’ve been next week or in another year.”

He hears some commotion as the room takes in his comment about keeping his relationship secret for almost a year. He hadn’t even thought about the reaction that might get when he had given his answer, but apparently it’s big news. So is the fact that he would’ve otherwise come out at the same time as his boyfriend, who could this man be if coming out was such a big deal, they whisper between themselves. Not even considering the fact that no matter who it is, coming out would always be a big deal for the person coming out.

The press conference is finally over, the burning questions have been answered and he can finally focus on the race weekend ahead of him.

 

He’s back on the top step of the podium, his fifth win in the bag and he can’t stop grinning. He’s hugging Daniel tightly as he steps down from the second highest step, feels an ever so soft touch of Daniel’s lips at his neck as they celebrate, but get rudely interrupted by Sebastian spraying champagne into their faces. Both of them spluttering as the champagne splashes in their faces, skin becoming sticky with it.

“I wish I could’ve kissed you just now,” Daniel sighs as he lets himself fall onto the sofa in the energy station. The team knew now, after he’d convinced Daniel to at least confide in them, and barely batted an eye as they cuddled up close to each other.

“You could have,” Max shrugs, pressing a kiss against Daniel’s cheek.

“I didn’t want to take any attention away from your win, you deserve the attention to be on your racing after everything. And I’m not sure I’m ready to come out yet still,” he ends with a sigh. And Max understands, he didn’t want to come out like he had been forced to. Would’ve wanted to do it on his own terms and kissing on the podium wouldn’t have been the right way.

“We’ll figure it out.”

 

It’s not until the season is over and they’re on their winter break that they open up about their relationship. It’s not with some big bang, not a kiss shared on a podium with the worlds eyes on them or with a big statement. No, in the end it’s on Instagram post on Max’s profile. One that later gets reposted onto Daniel’s.

It shows Max lying on a beach with his head resting in someone’s lap, eyes closed and a peaceful smile on his face as he takes in the sun, white sand surrounding them. It’s subtle, but the leg tattoo from the person underneath him is clearly recognisable.

It’s simply captioned with, “Paradise…”

Daniel’s repost captioned with a simple, “With you, always.”    

 

 

~~ The End ~~

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't resist a soppy ending. I think that's all the F1 fic out of my head for now, so I don't know when the next one will be, but I think my Emmerdale peeps will be happy if I can get back to updating Dancing Through Life now :P.
> 
> Thank you for reading. As always kudos and comments make my little writers heart soar. And you can find me on tumblr at [sleepysuggles](http://www.sleepysuggles.tumblr.com)


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